I feel so inundated this year with things that I need to do to Have It All in my life! It’s actually quite overwhelming when you lay it all out. Everything around tells me what I need to be in order to have it all! I need to be the wife that gives her all to her marriage, who is patient, kind and always available. I need to be the mother who wakes up every morning singing to her littles, preparing fresh organic foods, doing amazing crafts to help her brain grow, all while protecting her from everything bad in this world. I need to be the friend who is always there, ready to connect and be vulnerable. Oh and let’s not forget business owner who needs to post the perfect photos on social media to gain followers, get back to every person at a moment’s notice and make major decisions daily. There are so many pressures in this world, I can’t possibly have it all!!!!
No where in the above is the woman that God actually called me to be!!! Yes, he’s called me to fill those roles in my life but those are only hats that I’m suppose to wear. First and foremost I need to be a daughter of His, then and only then will be able to have it all! I will do my best to bring glory to His name and introduce Him to people who He has placed on my heart. I bring glory to His name by being a Godly wife, Godly mother and Godly friend.
Over the past two years I have learned that IT IS possible to have it all. God has taught me to forget about all the pressures that I feel because those are not eternal. I have learned to put them aside to focus on what matters. What matters to me will be different from what matters to you. Having it all will look different for me than it will for you. This is how it’s suppose to be! Our All’s are defined different because we are all unique and have our own purpose here.
2014 was a year of soul searching for me. I let things bother me that I shouldn’t. Comparison and competition were something I struggled with and to be honest, I still do at times. But now I know that those feelings aren’t from above and I’ve learned to move past them so I can focus on the things that my all include. Every woman deserves to “Have it All” and I want to share with you how I came to know my “ALL”.
First, I uncovered what my core values are. These are values that I absolutely will not waver from. I have 5 of them. They are Spirituality, Family, Integrity, Hope, & Accomplishment.
Next, I uncovered what my strengths are. There are lots of strength tests out there. A friend introduced me to Strength’s Finder 2.0. My Strengths are Strategic, Maximizer, Communication, Responsibility, & Arranger.
After learning more about myself I was able to take a deeper look at my life and see where I was spending my time. I uncovered that I wasn’t maximizing my strengths and I wasn’t focused on the matters that I felt were suppose to be most important in my life. I always felt overwhelmed and like I didn’t measure up. I would compare myself to other fashion bloggers who were skinner than me, had more followers than me and I wondered if I would ever make it in this world. I’m not a size 2 but I realized that’s not what is important to me. I don’t work out to be skinny, I work out to be strong. I no longer care if I’m not the smallest fashion blogger, maybe women will connect with me because I’m the size I am. I learned that I longed to work in some capacity. For months I struggled with these feelings because I couldn’t understand why being a stay at home mom didn’t fulfill me. I felt guilty and ashamed. I no longer deal with these feelings because I understand that I have different needs and it’s ok if I focus on them.
At the beginning of 2015 I decided to define what Having it All meant to me. I encourage each of you to do the same. You don’t have to live in this world feeling the way I did. I don’t anymore.
Having it all means this to me:
1. Being the woman that God has called me to be. I give Him my days first. I pray and ask God to reveal to me what I need to focus on.
2. Being a patient and grace filled wife and mother. To me this means taking deep breaths and not going with my first reaction when things don’t go the way I had planned. Showing my husband and daughter that I am present in their lives and being intentional with the time we share is important to me. I enjoy putting down my phone and not being distracted.
3. Being a good friend. I have a handful of women who bless my life with their friendship. These friendships didn’t happen overnight. They happened when I decided to be intentional with these women and focus not on what they can do for me but on what I can do for them. I also realized that I can’t be everything to everyone and I needed to say no to good things in order to say yes to better things.
4. Owning a business where I define what my success is, I get to make my own hours and where I can touch the lives of others.
This is what my “Having it All” looks like. I believe everyone has the opportunity to have it all, we just have to accept that our all is unique and not what other’s have. I encourage you to a uncover what having it all looks like for you. Go somewhere you can think and get personal with yourself. This is something that requires your honesty and vulnerability. Once you know what you are living for, you can settle into that and enjoy it.
What does it look like for you to Have It All?